So...what do you do?
Photo by Pierre Leclerc
Are you "just a girl who can't say no?"
Have you ever had this experience?:
One day you have a “bad day” and the next, a “good day.” But when you analyze it more closely, nothing’s changed:
Now we simply have to cultivate this habit. Make it conscious!
I say simply but simple isn’t always easy! So how can we make this easier?
Do you like to play games? Great! Then let’s play a game here, instead of making ourselves wrong for feeling lousy.
The first thing you have to do, is buy a magic wand.
What?! You heard me right. Go to the toy store and I guarantee you, you’ll find a magic wand. Or better yet, you can make yourself a magic wand. You remember what they look like. I know you do! (Mine has a star on the top, with lots of gold glitter!”
Now, carry that wand with you at all times (or have one at work and one at home!) and every time you catch yourself thinking a negative thought,
STOP – grab your wand - and say outloud, “Abracadabra – away with you, negative thought!” Then I want you to cancel that negative thought by saying outloud, “Cancel! Cancel!”
Don’t forget to wave your wand as you do this!
If you feel a little silly doing this, it might even make you laugh…and I dare you to feel negative and laugh at the same time!
Why outloud? And why wave the wand? Because we pay more attention when we verbalize something and when we feel it in our bodies. We integrate it better. We are calling that negative little voice out! We are making it conscious.
Now what? Once you are aware of that negative thought you just had, immediately focus on something good! It doesn’t have to be anything related to the present moment – just something that makes you feel good:
Your turn! What makes you feel good? What makes you smile?
What makes your Heart sing?
Warning! When you do this, you may find that suddenly, like magic, everything is OK!
Want more magic tricks? Let’s talk!
I believe that our life moves through cycles, just like nature does. After all, we ARE part of nature. We go through ebbs and flows, just like the ocean. Through seasons, just like the weather. We have ups and downs.
Last week I was in a definite DOWN. I am in the middle of the third coach training I have taken. I am always looking to improve my coaching skills. This particular course is really intense, in the sense that it involves a lot of self-reflection and I get to coach and BE coached weekly. One of the requirements is to do “buddy coaching.” I get to experience again, how powerful coaching is – from the coach’s side and from the coachee’s side.
When it was my turn to be coached this week, I knew I was a bit emotional. The day before, I had had a good cry, over something totally unrelated to my real issue. When I first started crying, I was upset about something that was out of my control (the delivery of an important package, if you can believe it!) That was the first clue that there was something deeper going on! Really?! Crying over a package? But I couldn’t help it – I needed to cry. So I let myself cry. That’s when I realized that what was really going on was much deeper. I was feeling “not good enough”, and I was afraid I would fail at building my coaching business. Who was I to think that I had something to offer people?! Who was I to think I could make a difference in people’s lives?! (all this, despite lots of evidence to the contrary!)
That’s when my buddy coach asked me the magic question: “How would you be different if you believed in yourself?” … silence on my part while I pondered the question.
“I would be calm. I would be able to see what I need to do and simply do it. I wouldn’t be distracted by all my negative thoughts. I might even start enjoying myself!”
That begged the next question…this one I came up with on my own. "Great idea, but HOW do I believe in myself?! I clearly don’t, right now.”
As I pondered this question, I thought about what a belief is. If I KNOW I can do something already, it’s not a belief. It’s a fact.
A belief, on the other hand, is not based on fact, necessarily. Who can prove that God exists? Or that we reincarnate after we leave this life? Where’s the proof? What if the Wright Brothers had not believed it was possible for man to fly? Or land on the moon for that matter!
So, did I need proof to believe in myself? Was I striving to do something I already knew exactly how to do? No. I was stretching myself to new heights, learning new things, doing things I’d never done before. Did I need to be “perfect” to believe in myself? (as in, come up with PROOF?) No.
I could simply choose to believe in myself. No proof. No evidence. No need to be perfect! (what a relief!)
So, the next time you experience “low tide” so to speak, I invite you to simply watch the process and BELIEVE that you are enough, exactly as you are – knowing that the high tide will return.
Then, climb onto your raft and let it carry you to new destinations and dreams.
You simply have to believe in yourself - and then - build yourself a raft.
Are you ready to start building that raft?
If you're ready to go from bored to bodacious, you've come to the right place!
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