I believe that our life moves through cycles, just like nature does. After all, we ARE part of nature. We go through ebbs and flows, just like the ocean. Through seasons, just like the weather. We have ups and downs.
Last week I was in a definite DOWN. I am in the middle of the third coach training I have taken. I am always looking to improve my coaching skills. This particular course is really intense, in the sense that it involves a lot of self-reflection and I get to coach and BE coached weekly. One of the requirements is to do “buddy coaching.” I get to experience again, how powerful coaching is – from the coach’s side and from the coachee’s side.
When it was my turn to be coached this week, I knew I was a bit emotional. The day before, I had had a good cry, over something totally unrelated to my real issue. When I first started crying, I was upset about something that was out of my control (the delivery of an important package, if you can believe it!) That was the first clue that there was something deeper going on! Really?! Crying over a package? But I couldn’t help it – I needed to cry. So I let myself cry. That’s when I realized that what was really going on was much deeper. I was feeling “not good enough”, and I was afraid I would fail at building my coaching business. Who was I to think that I had something to offer people?! Who was I to think I could make a difference in people’s lives?! (all this, despite lots of evidence to the contrary!)
That’s when my buddy coach asked me the magic question: “How would you be different if you believed in yourself?” … silence on my part while I pondered the question.
“I would be calm. I would be able to see what I need to do and simply do it. I wouldn’t be distracted by all my negative thoughts. I might even start enjoying myself!”
That begged the next question…this one I came up with on my own. "Great idea, but HOW do I believe in myself?! I clearly don’t, right now.”
As I pondered this question, I thought about what a belief is. If I KNOW I can do something already, it’s not a belief. It’s a fact.
A belief, on the other hand, is not based on fact, necessarily. Who can prove that God exists? Or that we reincarnate after we leave this life? Where’s the proof? What if the Wright Brothers had not believed it was possible for man to fly? Or land on the moon for that matter!
So, did I need proof to believe in myself? Was I striving to do something I already knew exactly how to do? No. I was stretching myself to new heights, learning new things, doing things I’d never done before. Did I need to be “perfect” to believe in myself? (as in, come up with PROOF?) No.
I could simply choose to believe in myself. No proof. No evidence. No need to be perfect! (what a relief!)
So, the next time you experience “low tide” so to speak, I invite you to simply watch the process and BELIEVE that you are enough, exactly as you are – knowing that the high tide will return.
Then, climb onto your raft and let it carry you to new destinations and dreams.
You simply have to believe in yourself - and then - build yourself a raft.
Are you ready to start building that raft?
Years ago (19 years to be precise), when we lived in Hawaii, I had my first mid-life crisis. I decided I could no longer be a carpenter (I was 42, had had shoulder surgery, and realized that I couldn’t go on building houses forever.)
Question: What now?
Answer: Go back to school to study Interior Design – after all, it was the creative process I loved about carpentry! I could design things instead of building them!
Next question: Where shall I study?
Answer: Italy, of course!
Next question: How the heck are we going to sell the houses I built (2 of them) if we haven’t been able to sell even one in the last 7 years?! We had listed the house at two different times, with different realtors. Not a bite! Now we were committed (yes, I had even paid my tuition!)and we had no choice. We had to sell not only one, but two houses!
I still remember the day I was in the kitchen thinking, “What have I done? I have no idea how we are going to sell both houses within 3 months and move to Italy before school starts!” I was excited and scared at the same time. And I truly had no idea how we were going to sell those houses!
Then I did something I don’t do very often. I literally got down on my knees in the kitchen (tile floor, so nice and hard on the knees!) and put my forehead on the floor. I wasn’t exactly praying, in the Christian sense, but I was “covering all the bases” of all the religions and practices I was familiar with…and I said outloud, “God/goddess, All that is, I’m out of ideas. Please help us sell these houses so I can get to school on time.”
I was desperate, but committed.
We were going, no matter what! Even if we had to rent out both houses in the meantime (not a good option to manage a rental from Italy!) Then I got up and hoped for the best!
Two days later, the phone rang, and a woman said, “Hi, my name is Brenda and I stayed at the B&B next door a couple of years ago. At the time they said you had a house for sale. Is it still for sale? I have a friend who is looking.” Well, of course I said yes, come on down! When they arrived, they came into our house first, to get acquainted and then we walked across the property to the other house (which was the one for sale.) He looked at it and then at us and said, “I like your house better. I’d like to buy your house.” We responded that we couldn’t sell ours first, move into the second house and wait till it sold, before moving to Italy. We had to sell the other house first. It was tempting, but we stood our ground. They left, and with them our hopes…
A week later, he called back. In the interim, he had convinced his friend Brenda, that she needed to buy the other house, so they could share the property. He would buy our house. They offered our asking price and we closed without a realtor, saving the commission as well! All within 6 weeks!
It was a lot of work selling and shipping stuff, but I made it to school on time!
So, the next time you are at the “end of your rope” with no idea how to make your dreams come true, I suggest you commit fully – and then “let Providence move” things for you!
Having trouble getting clarity on what those dreams are? We can figure it out together!
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